She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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