i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
