Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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