I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
