Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
