Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
