We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
