I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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