cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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