Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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