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tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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