one two three fourrrrnication!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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