you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
