And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
