Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
