This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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