dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
