im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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