The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
