you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
