Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
