Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
