We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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