His pubic hair was longer than his dick
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
