One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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