toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
