Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old