Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?