So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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