Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
