so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
