If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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