Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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