Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
