Duck Duck Cougar?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
