a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
