I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
