I am spending my child support on dildos
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
