Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
