I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
