Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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