"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
