babies were throwing up all over the place
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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