garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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