Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
