his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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