dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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