My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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