Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
