She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
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last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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