Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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