i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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