When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
