I puked a lego.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
