Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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