Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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