Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize