We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
