I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
