i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
